|
|
|
St Peter’s Church Bredhurst Sermons: Divorce |
|
|||||||||||
|
Notices and |
||||||||||||||
|
Good Friday – |
Not a sermon but a
discussion document Divorce and our policy |
|||||||||||||
|
Adam looked wearily at a Wallaby. "Will I be
glad when we get to the Zebu!" God was equally weary. All this creating was
hard work, and the day was drawing to a close. He started to read a nifty
work on dietary regulations to Adam who was fast asleep in seconds. Hoping
that Moses would find it more interesting, God looked at his earth creature
and sighed. In one action he would bring this being extremes of happiness and
pain. God took hold of the sleeping earth creature with
his hands, and ripped it into two parts. He then carefully reformed the
bodies, and placed them in each other's arms. When Adam awoke he felt extremely
sore, and insanely happy. It was the first day of rest, and he and Eve did
not have children to send to Sunday School. God was thrilled with what he had
done. His earth creature now reflected God's own nature, for they were
individual and yet of the same substance, and together they remained one
being. In time the creature would occasionally become worn out
with age and argument but the two lovers would breathe new life into it. In Mary's church office, Suzanne and Alan sat
nervously on the edge of their chairs. They had just reached the question of
previous marriage. Suzanne was 30; she had married Steve when she was 18.
Neither had been ready, and he had reacted by violence. They were divorced
only two years ago as neither had wanted the marriage to fail, but the
pattern of violence had proved unbreakable. Alan was a customer of Suzanne's
company. He had three children, and said his marriage had been happy till he
met Suzanne. They had started a relationship whilst on a conference just
after Suzanne's divorce. Alan's marriage fell apart within months of his
confessing to his wife and he expected the decree nisi soon. Adam and Eve had known nothing about marriage.
There had been no ceremony, no legal documents. They had been married from
the moment they first re-joined their separated bodies. This was to become
the most common form of marriage contract throughout human history. So, Mary
reflected, Suzanne and Alan were already married. Had not Paul himself said
as much when dealing with the problem of prostitution? It was the sexual act
that created the marriage, if that is what we are to understand as being of
one flesh. Not all ancient societies saw things this way.
Plato argued for the use of abortion or infanticide so that sexual
relationships could be freely indulged in. Marriage was merely a device to
form and regulate society. In traditional, Western society it was used only
by the rich - to protect their estates. If marriage is solely the invention
of a people to shore up their social structures then, Mary wondered, surely
it is logical to adapt the institution to the needs of today? Mary was only 12 when she had seen her father and
Donna in the car. She said nothing to her parents till the day she wrecked
their marriage during a row about her new boyfriend. Her father would have
been about Alan's age, and Donna no more than 30. The relationship had
continued for some years after the divorce, but petered out. Mary's father
lived alone in a flat; she had not seen him for some years. Suzanne was talking about her relationship with
Steve; it sounded both harrowing and romantic. It was clear to Mary that both
had tried to make the marriage work. Both had come to terms with the
inevitable failure. Suzanne was now very happy, having found in Alan what she
had looked for, in vain, in Steve. This was a man who would care for her and
the children she longed for. Mary's silence was interpreted by Alan as a
signal to talk. He had not wanted the marriage to end; though he did need the
physical relationship with Suzanne that no longer existed with his wife. His
wife had been very difficult about the divorce, and had taken him for as much
as she could get. He doubted that he could really afford a second family.
Suzanne was now his only friend. They were very much in love, and desperate
to start again. But they wanted to marry in Church, to know that God at least
smiled on their relationship. It would not be a big thing. Mary felt her face turning purple; it was like
listening to her father. If ever there was a relationship less worthy of
God's approval, this must be it. Suzanne was looking at her, and Mary
realised Alan had stopped talking some moments ago. Her heart went out to the
troubled girl looking for security; her mind raged with indignation at the feckless
man. Following the first rule of Ministry, Mary read
out the Parish guidelines on remarriage. Had Suzanne been marrying a clean
living Bachelor, a Church wedding was in the offing. Had Alan been through a
process of coming to terms with his role in the failure of his marriage then
a blessing service would have been appropriate. As it was, all she could
offer was a prayer. Alan and Suzanne crumpled. "I don't
understand," said Alan. Mary invoked the second rule of Ministry: make a
cup of tea. As the kettle boiled, she chewed over what was going on.
The problem appeared to divide between images of marriage based on social
constructs, and images based on a mythical ideal. If the former, then there
was clearly a need to resolve the remaining questions over Alan's divorce;
society would be ill served by his commencing another family whilst retaining
such hurts. At this stage there seemed little point in attempting
reconciliation, but counselling might help. The image of the ideal of Adam
and Eve gave her more problems than it solved. If a married couple were truly
one, then that would always be so regardless of any legal words. That
reminded her of Jesus' words concerning divorce; that whoever marries a
divorcee commits adultery. In Suzanne's case, she could argue that the earth
creature had died, despite the best efforts to save it. In Alan's case, the
creature had been stabbed and left to die. Whichever way Mary considered this case, there
was a failure needing to be resolved. In the mirror above the sink she could
see beyond the office to the sanctuary. She thought of those who knelt there
each week, part of the bride of Christ. Sylvia who had only recently been
released from a life sentence for killing her abusive father; she was
welcome. Gary, struggling to come to terms with the death of his gay lover;
he was welcome. William, the Councillor who had figured in a corruption case,
he was welcome. Could she imagine Suzanne at the rail? Yes, she was welcome.
Alan? The kettle was whistling. Mary turned back to the couple, giving them their
mugs. She reached into the Sunday school cupboard and took out a large bowl
of modelling clay. Suzanne again asked if they could be married in Church.
"I don't know." Mary started to mould the clay and to tell
them a story. |
||||||||||||||
|
Home Accessibility Bredhurst School Chapel Christenings Contact Us Directions Funerals History
and Guide Letter from Kondoa Marriages Notices Pictures Registers Renewal of
Vows Resources Sunday Services Village Hall Weddings Wedding Fayre Gramps’
Garden Railway Dusty Desert Dweller Blog Curate’s Blog Mother’s Book |
||||||||||||||
|
THE PAROCHIAL CHURCH COUNCIL OF THE ECCLESIASTICAL
PARISH OF SOUTH GILLINGHAM Registered Charity Number: 1130544 The Parish Office, St Matthew’s Church, Drewery Drive, Wigmore,
Gillingham, Kent ME8 0NX |
||||||||||||||
