Marriage
Preparation Course Outline
The course is
based around the marriage declarations and vows and some of the bible readings
often chosen for a marriage ceremony.
Timings are
approximate but we will finish on time. Please
don’t bring anything other than yourselves and your quiz answers.
Please try to find baby sitters for any children.
These are links to
the readings and quizzes that we send out with the information pack.
(Right click and
use save target as in IE or save link as in Firefox)
They are in rich
text format so should open in most word processors but the quizzes have a lot
of MS tables so I don’t guarantee that one.
9.30 Arrival,
coffee, introductions
10.00 Why are you
doing this?
The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God,
who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts; therefore if
either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare
it now.
There are many
different reasons for getting married.
What are yours? (No, we won’t ask
you to tell everyone). We will explore a
few of the more common ones using a quiz that you can do separately (and then
compare your answers) before you come to the session, and then build on
that. Oh, and if you’re brother and
sister, no you can’t, no matter what happens in the soaps.
N, will you take
N to be your wife/husband? Will you love
her/him, comfort her/him, honour and protect her/him, and, forsaking all
others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?
What do you hope for from your
marriage? What do you think you can
bring to it? Another quiz for you and
then we’ll look at it using an ancient couple as a model.
10.30 Families! Don’t you love them?
Who
gives this woman to be married to this man?
Relationships with the
extended family can make (and break) a marriage. We may be invaded by our grandchildren during
the morning, just to illustrate the point.
And we’ll have a video fresh from Japan.
10.45 Till death us do part.
I,
N, take you, N, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day
forward;
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow. (Reading: Ephesians 5)
Marilyn and Graham have been married for 35
years. Apart from spiting Graham’s
grandmother, who said it wouldn’t last more than 2, what are the secrets? We’ll send you a fun quiz for this one. Just how important is a garden shed? And we’ll look at the life of a fictional
couple and how they cope with all the ups and downs of life together.
11.00 Pause for breath and coffee
11.15 And another thing! You always ……………
Heavenly
Father, by your blessing let these rings be to N & N a symbol of unending
love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they have
made this day through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Another quiz to prepare
for this one. How do you resolve conflict? Graham doesn’t - he goes and drills big holes in an
innocent chunk of wood in his shed. But
maybe there is a better way for holding things together when they get really
tough (and they will). Some enjoyable
role-play for any actors among you (or we’ll do it), and we’ll learn from a
6’6” farmer, his 4’6” wife and their carpenter friend on how to avoid conflict
in the first place.
Cont. over
12.00 Giving and Sharing
N,
I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I
have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. (Reading: John 2)
What will you share? A bed? A bank account? Interests? Friends? A business? Using a board and some playing cards we will
explore giving and receiving and our attitudes to both. Jesus said “it is better to give than to
receive” – it’s also often easier, why?
12.30 Lunch
Soup and a roll. You
won’t starve. We’ll be joined by one or
more couples who’ve been married in the past few years.
13.00 Questions and Answers
Ask us, and our guest couples, anything you
like – about marriage, children, the ceremony, faith, steam engines (maybe not.)
13.30 Close
But you’re welcome to hang around if you
want to chat.
Some Other Notes:
The actual content of your ceremony is best discussed
between you and the Minister conducting your service (they’ll be in touch about
2 months before the day) but we will be happy to answer any questions you have,
or you can find more information on our website (just put “Bredhurst Church”
into Google). If you’d like to see a
ceremony, just call the office and ask Kelly for the times of weddings on a
Saturday you’re free.
If you want to discuss any issues privately (together or
alone) then you are very welcome to call us, or any of
our clergy, and arrange a separate discussion.
For those who want to explore the Christian understanding of
marriage in greater depth and in a smaller group (over an evening meal and a
bottle or two) we will arrange a suitable date after the course. We can do this anytime, even after you’re
married. You’ll discover things you’d
never believe could be in the bible, find out what it means for a wife to “obey”
her husband (hard luck, lads, it’s not what you think), and discover one or two
uses of a spare rib. And it gets better
as the evening wears on, especially if we’ve had a hard week.