At least one of you lives in the Parish of South Gillingham (Bredhurst, Wigmore, Parkwood or Hempstead).
To find out which parish you live in, click here, fill in your Post Code and then click on your house on the map. Your parish church will be named to the right of the map (you may need to scroll across).
OR

Divorced?
Please click here?

Cost?

£600 all in:
Ceremony, preparation, venue, music, flowers.

Want to Book?

Either of you lived in our parish at any time for 6 continuous months.
OR
Any one of your parents lived in our parish at any time for
6 continuous months
after you were born.
OR

Worried about the cost?

Want to get married but can’t afford it?

Have a look here.

We are living together.
Does that matter?

Of course not. And we happily marry couples who already have a family –
your own children make wonderful bridesmaids and page boys.

And, yes, we can do a christening (or two or three) at the same time but seek our advice first – we know what works and what doesn’t!.

At least one of you was baptised (Christened) in one of our parish churches (which includes All Saints Hempstead, St Matthew’s Wigmore, St Paul’s Parkwood as well as Bredhurst)
OR
Any one of your parents worshipped in one of our parish churches at any time for 6 continuous months after you were born or less frequently
(maybe Christmas and Easter)
but for a long time.
OR

What are Banns?

Banns are an ancient tradition and also a legal necessity. They date from the times when you would have lived in a small village and everyone knew you. Given the often complex family links, only your neighbours and family would know if you were too closely related to be married, or if you were already married. So the Banns were introduced to ensure that only those legally entitled to be so were married.

This piece of law remains in place to this day – despite press reports that it has been abandoned.

We write to couples with a personal invitation to come to St Peter’s to hear the reading of their Banns about two months before their wedding. This takes place as part of our regular 11am services. At the reading of Banns the couples do not actually have to do anything but simply remain in their seats.

If you do not live in the parish you also have to arrange for your banns to be read in the parish where you live. Don’t worry about this; our friendly administrator will explain all.

Reading the Banns

We usually read the Banns of marriage at the beginning of the service. It is a very simple ceremony. The Minister says:

“I publish the banns of marriage between N & N and X & Y, etc. If any of you know cause or just impediment why these persons should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony ye are to declare it. This is the first/second/third time of asking.” (We use the olde worlde wordes because they sound brilliant in our olde worlde churche but rest assured you can have your wedding in modern English!)

If your parents or grandparents were married in our parish
OR
If either of you has worshipped in one of our parish churches at any time for 6 continuous months (or less frequently for longer – so those who went to Bredhurst School will qualify because the School holds two services a year at the church).

What this means is that if you want to get married at St Peter’s and don’t otherwise qualify, come and join us on Sundays (there is always a service at 11.00am) and you will have made the required link. This is the easiest way to get married at St Peter’s if you or your parents have never lived in the parish. And I get a good number of my congregation that way!
Because so many people work on Sundays we can make special arrangements for you. Just give the curate a call. (Or send your parents along to church instead because that will work equally well - tell them it will do them good!)

What if one of us is divorced?

The easy option: we offer a service of blessing following a civil marriage. This avoids the legal complications on residency, etc. There are rules we have to stick to – basically to ensure your and our protection, so we will ask to have a chat before finally agreeing. It is approximately the same ceremony. Either phone the office and we will get in touch with you, or come and see us one Sunday. You will need to make your own arrangements with the Registrar.

We can marry people who are divorced, but only with permission and after a number of discussions. There are strict rules on this, but please ask and we will happily talk to you. At least one of you must live in our parish (To find out which parish you live in, click here). We are not able to conduct a marriage if either of you has been divorced more than once or if your present relationship was a cause of the divorce.

We suggest you come to a church service as a first step as we will also ask you to attend church regularly before we agree to conduct the marriage.

Marriage after Divorce: The Bishop’s Regulations gives the official rules on performing a legal ceremony after divorce.

What happens in a
Marriage Service?

Well, we marry you. The Marriage service is a Christian ceremony, so there will also be hymns or words of praise, a bible reading and prayers. Why not come along to a wedding with us – contact us for times and dates.

Look at our service planner for ideas for readings, etc.

This is the text of
a real service.

Oh, and the vicar dresses up in fancy robes. I mention that because Emma, pictured right, made the red scarf that Graham sometimes wears.

If all else fails: For example, you can’t fit in the 6 months before the date you want or there’s some other problem, you can always do what they do in the rest of Europe – get married legally in a registry office (all you need is two witnesses and yourselves) and then turn up to the church for the full works at a time to suit you (and this is actually a cheaper option because the basic Registrar’s fees are less than the church’s legal fees.) All we do is change a couple of words so the ceremony doesn’t become a legal marriage.

DSCN0461

This is the national weddings site
for the Church of England: www.yourchurchwedding.org

where is it

St Peter’s Wedding Fayre

is a page for businesses with whom we have worked on weddings.

Look for gifts, photographers, florists, receptions, etc.

Why St Peter’s?

· Beautiful, traditional setting

· Can seat up to 120

· Village Hall available for Receptions

· Accessible to wheelchairs

· Support from the clergy (and congregation if you come along beforehand) – we will not only help you design the perfect ceremony but also offer a marriage preparation course (“great fun but very thought provoking” is typical of the feedback we get).

Before you decide, take a look at the other churches in the parish. Or check the Resources page for churches outside our parish. Or, best of all, look at the picture show below!

Marriage FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions):

Question

What days can we have a service?

What times can we have a service?

What about the choir?

Can we have a video?

What photographs do you allow?

Where can we take pictures outside?

Do you conduct civil partnership ceremonies?

I have a relative who’s a vicar.
Can they marry me at St Peter’s?

Can we have two weddings at the same time?

Do I have to wear white?

Does my father have to give me away?

I’ve never been to church in my life.
Can I get married at St Peter’s?

How many bridesmaids can I have?

How many people can you sit in St Peter’s?

Answer

Any day except our Fete days (last Saturday in June and first Saturday in December) Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Easter Day as we’re a bit too busy on those days!

By law it has to be before 6pm. On Saturdays we offer 11.00am, 1.00pm, 3.00pm and 5.00pm.
On Sundays we can offer 2.00pm and 4.00pm.
On other days you can choose your time.

We can provide a choir for a fee (around £65).

We are too small for a full studio! So we allow one camera at the back of the church and charge a small fee (around £40) to cover our license costs.

We ask the photographers to stay at the back of the church except for the signing of the registers, and to only use flash at the beginning and end of the service. But modern cameras get some excellent shots like this.

Anywhere except in the new churchyard.

We are not authorised to conduct these.
Please contact the local Registrars.

Yes and no. They can take part in the ceremony but we need to do the actual legal bits with them.

Yes. But only if you promise not to fall out over it!

No, grooms can wear any colour. Oh, sorry. No, brides can wear what they like as well.

No. In fact this is not in the modern service though I usually include it. But anyone or no-one can do it.

Yes. Read the stuff at the top to see how.

More the merrier but more than four means they don’t have far to walk up our short aisle!

About 120 tops. If you want more than that St Paul’s and St Matthew’s can seat 200+ and St Margaret’s in Rainham can seat 300+

Quick Links

Home Accessibility Bredhurst School Chapel

Christenings Contact Us Directions Funerals

History and Guide Letter from Kondoa Marriages Notices

Pictures Registers Renewal of Vows Resources

Sunday Services Village Hall Weddings Wedding Fayre

Gramps’ Garden Railway Curate’s Blog Mother’s Book Parish of South Gillingham

THE PAROCHIAL CHURCH COUNCIL OF THE ECCLESIASTICAL PARISH OF SOUTH GILLINGHAM

Registered Charity Number: 1130544

The Parish Office, St Matthew’s Church, Drewery Drive, Wigmore, Gillingham, Kent ME8 0NX

“Why would you make the most important promise of your life anywhere else?” (quote from a couple asked why they wanted to be married here)

Can we get married at St Peter’s?

We are living together. Does that matter?